Adam and Eve versus Adam and Steve

I’m often asked how I resolve my faith and sexuality. When I get these questions, some of the time, I’m also met with the common phrase “The Bible says ‘Adam and Eve’ not ‘Adam and Steve’”. So, let’s look to the passage ourselves. I'll summarize briefly between verses.

 Genesis 2 (NRSV—verses indented, my words in between verses)

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die.”

God creates the first human and gives him the earth to care for and tend. All of the Garden is good for Adam except for one tree.

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” 

God sees that Adam is not meant to be alone. So, God begins a search for a suitable companion.

19 So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field;

According to this story, God created all the animals to try and find a suitable partner for Adam and to help in Adam's loneliness. The whole purpose in this story is to find someone to help Adam in his loneliness—God did not want Adam to be alone.

20 but for the man[c] there was not found a helper as his partner. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;

Adam says "Finally, another human. This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." The fact is: the only reason Eve worked as a helpmate for Adam is she was just like him-a human.

23 this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken.” ²⁴ Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

Eve was a woman, yes. But, the point is she was a human. If this were a story about sex, then you are advocating for beastiality. After all, God created animals first as helpmates for Adam. This is about a lonely human who God creates animals for as company and when that doesn't work, God creates another human for him. It's about companionship, not about sex. Otherwise, you're saying God wanted Adam having sex with animals.

If we are to literally read this, this is a story about the first human, Adam. Adam is very lonely as the only being on earth. You see, God saw that Adam was lonely and God tried to find a good companion. (This is often where I insert a witty comment about how the dog was the closest to being man’s companion). In the end, while animals were able to offer some companionship, God saw that Adam wanted the company of another human. This is a story where God understands “It is not good for man to be alone”. It is a story about finding a suitable companion for Adam. God creates animals in God’s efforts to find a suitable companion. 

This isn’t about sex. God isn’t creating animals to fulfill Adam’s sexual needs. God creates them as companions because Adam is alone. That doesn’t work. So, God creates another human being which is finally compatible—not because of sex, but because it is “flesh of my flesh”. It is another human. Being “flesh of my flesh” says nothing about the gender of Eve. It says everything about the fact that Eve is another human. Again, Adam says that he has finally found someone who helps with the loneliness—not because it is a female human, but simply because it was another human. This is a story about human companionship. Humans are not meant to be alone. They are not meant to be forced into isolation. In fact, if we are to read the Genesis story literally, God actually says “It is not good for man to be alone”. 

Humans are not meant to be alone. In God’s efforts to relieve Adam’s discomfort, God creates many animal friends including my friend, the Beaver (who we will affectionately call “the Beave”). They aren’t complete matches since they’re not human. Finally, God creates another human who Adam declares to be suitable because it’s another human. My friends, this passage has just as much to say about “Adam and Beave” as it does about “Adam and Eve”. If you can accept that, you’ll also recognize, it has a lot to say about “Adam and Steve”.

My "Lifestyle Choice"

Be forewarned, this may be a controversial topic. I don't mean any offense by what I say. I simply want to share my story.

About a year ago, I made the final step in coming out. It was a long journey of accepting myself, learning to love myself, and finding safety in those I told. I had started the journey a short time before I came out on Facebook and began by telling the people in my life that I knew were "safe". It took some courage, but one by one, I told them. Then, the day came when I finally came out to everyone and received an outpouring of support. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

But, my story starts many years before this. Literally, from the moment I knew I was a human, I have known I liked the other boys in the class. I didn't know what it was called, but I remember my many crushes throughout the years. It was when I realized it was called "homosexuality" and began to hear how it was wrong that the thoughts started. I dealt with thoughts of suicide on and off for years. It felt as if the world was saying "who you are is disgusting" and, since I tried over and over to change with no hope, I came to believe the world would be better off without me.



My battle intensified.

I felt powerless.

I dealt with the pain for years, after years, after years.



I would have some good days, but many bad days. All along, I tried to show kindness to others while still hearing messages that made me hate myself. Eventually, in my last year of Seminary and last year of my MSW, I sought out a "reparitive therapist". He claimed to be able to cure me of being gay. He was the former president of NARTH (National Association for the Relief and Treatment of Homosexuality). If anyone could be cured, it should be me. I was seeing the best of the best, had an amazing family, and grew up in a conservative home.



I tried.

I tried so hard.



Every session went the same--"Your childhood is the issue. You had bad parents and until you come to grips with that, you'll be gay" was the message. The problem was, while my parents weren't perfect, they certainly weren't bad. They loved me. They did their best for me.



I became even more suicidal.

I contemplated crashing my car and ending my life time after time on the way home from that therapist.

It didn't help. In fact, it made things worse.



Finally, I began to search the Scriptures myself. Guided by my limited two semesters of Greek, my Greek New Testament, and my Lexicon, I began to seek answers. I prayed, read as many books as I could, and came to a different conclusion (if you're interested about my conclusion, feel free to message me, but I won't go into details right now).



I began to love life.

I began to see the beauty God had to offer in giving life-not in taking it.

I began to love God more fully.



And guess what? The suicidal thoughts stopped almost completely and almost immediately. Radically accepting myself for who God created was the cure. Not changing the unchangeable. So, when people use the phrase "Life Choice" to describe being gay, I politely agree. Yes. It was LIFE choice. A choice to live. A choice to love. A choice to open my heart more fully. A choice to heal. That, my friends, was my "Lifestyle Choice". And, it's the best choice I've made.